


Is That Even Legal?

by shakespearedidnothavecumsh0ts (loginhasbeentaken)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 10:48:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7433707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loginhasbeentaken/pseuds/shakespearedidnothavecumsh0ts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles has a secret admirer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

Stiles let out a sigh as he detached yet another note from the pretty string it was hung on. He admired the craftsmanship of this one, it was sealed with actual red wax and the stamping looked a little too neat. As usual he couldn’t make out any symbols or signs to even give the slightest idea of who it was from.

He saw his best friend Erica walking towards to him and he tried to shove the letter away before she could notice it but unfortunately she grabbed it from his backpocket.

“Another note?”

“You’re holding it aren’t you?”

“Ooh, fancy. Do you recognise the seal?”

“Of course not,”

“I’ll check it out,” she smirked pulling a pocketknife out of her boot and scraping the seal off neatly. “Read it,”

“No, they get more graphic everyday.”

“Okay,” she scoffed opening the letter before gasping in shock. “He wants to do what to your what?”

“How are you sure it’s a he?”

“I don’t think girls can do that,” she shuddered.

Stiles rolled his eyes and grabbed the letter.

“What the hell does- Oh. Is that even legal?” 

“No clue, that’s pretty intense. Who sent it?”

“That’s what we’ve been trying to figure out for almost a year Erica.”

“Well Isaac and I’ll look into it. He’s Mr. Harris’ lab tech so we can look at the symbol and maybe test it for-”

“Easy. This isn’t _CSI_.”

“Do you have any better ideas?”

“Forget it and move on?”

“Come on. A guy wants to stick his-”

“Don’t repeat it!”

“Okay, this guy’s interested in you so you need to find him.”

“What if he’s a total creep?”

“We’ve already established he’s a creep. The only issue is if he’s good in bed or hot.”

“There’s more to life than good looks and sex,”

“Elaborate,”

“Screw you,”

“My point exactly,” she chuckled giving the seal a good look. “You know I think I may have seen this before,”

“Where?”

“No clue,” she sighed. “But it has a chimaera on it.”

“Chimaera?”

“Stiles, how could you not know this. It’s a fire-breathing creature that has the body of a goat, the head of a lion and the tail of a serpent. Greek mythology?”

“You’re the mythology nut,”

“Anyway, a chimaera and a _T_ ,”

“A _T_?”

“Yea, but I know I’ve seen it before.”

“Don’t hurt yourself,”

“Oh shut it,” she scoffed looking around. “You know I- SHIT! Look,” she exclaimed grabbing his head and turning him to face Theo Raeken.

“Why are you showing me that douchebag?”

“I’m not, look at his locker door. It’s a drawing of the seal!”

“Erica I’m sure that’s a coincidence. Why would the most popular guy in school be into me?”

“Maybe because of that rumour Ethan started about you giving toe-curling blowjobs.”

“That wasn’t a rumour and Theo’s straight.”

“He could be bi,”

“His girlfriend is insanely gorgeous. Have you taken a good look at her lately?”

“How could I not? Malia Tate is the embodiment of perfection, even I wanna fuck her.”

“So why would he be interested in me when he’s got her?”

“Because they’re each others beard and are only together because of the popularity.”

“What?”

“Well, I don’t know if this counts as proof but I may have seen Malia and Kira Yukimura making out and fingering each other in the locker room.”

“Explicit much,”

“Don’t act like you haven’t told me worse.”

“Even so, why me? He can have any girl- guy he wants. Why me?“


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

The following day, Stiles sat at the lunch table with Erica but he found himself staring over to Theo's table. _The popular table._ His girlfriend Malia was of course seated next to him but they were so close she as well have been in his lap. They were never shy to show PDA, the only difference was that now Stiles felt something strange. Sure it wasn't weird to see Theo's hand on Malia's thigh as she bit at his earlobe but at the same time it was.

"Hey, you okay?" Erica asked placing a hand on Stiles' arm

"Uh yea. I am."

"You sure?"

"Of course. I'm still having a hard time believing that _that guy_ sent me raunchy love notes."

"They do seem in love," Erica sighed. "But then again I went to drama camp with the guy in middle school."

"What are you saying?"

"That I seriously feared for my role as Lady Macbeth being given to him."

"What?" Stiles asked genuinely confused.

"The guy could play any role you gave him."

"And what about her?"

"She's handsy by nature. I think it's cute."

"Well now they're making out. In the full view of everyone," Stiles groaned.

"They have to keep the masses happy."

"It's disgusting,"Stiles said pushing his tray away. "Do they even eat?"

"I'd say they eat quite a lot," Erica replied with a dirty grin.

 "That's disgusting."

"Do you think they have threesomes?"

 "Erica- gross."

"Well it's a valid question. I mean do you see how Malia's head kinda shifts to Kira's direction? And then the little blush Kira has."

"Well yea but even I blush when Malia looks at me."

"Yea well Isaac's seen them in Chemistry class."

"Wait what?"

"Oh yea, Malia was all over her. She was so distracted she calibrated the reaction wrong and caused it to bubble over." 

"That's hardly any proof. Don't you see how possessive he is? Look at his body language." Stiles said as he saw them walking out.

"Well they're both possessive. I'm gonna head to the library coming?" 

"Yea gimme a sec I need to get a book from my locker," Stiles said walking in the opposite direction. 

On his way to the library Stiles heard hushed yells coming from the boys locker room and decided to check it out.

"So you think it's okay to leave notes on some guy's locker yet I can't look at Kira?"

"You're not being subtle."

"Because a seal that matches a giant drawing hanging in your locker is so subtle," Malia scoffed.

"He doesn't know. He's pretty oblivious."

"You sound bummed," Malia scoffed.

"You sound jealous."

"Bite me."

"Relax," Theo scoffed cupping her cheek. "You're still my number one."

"Oh shut up," she smirked in response before pulling him closer and kissing him.

Stiles rushed out after that, unsure of what to do next.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles looked down and realised how compromising the position looked. Erica was right, maybe he would be fucked after all.

* * *

Stiles fiddled with the lock on his locker, unable to get it to open. The stupid thing just always seemed to stick.

"Need some help?" A sultry voice asked from behind him.

"Uhm-"

"I had the same one Freshman year. It just always used to do that," Malia scoffed pushing him aside and opening it. "There, nothing brute force can't fix," she continued with a smile.

"Thanks," Stiles said taking a few books out. "But uhm-what brings you here?"

"Oh, Theo's throwing a party tomorrow night. You should swing by."

"To his party?"

"Yea, it'll be fun."

"I'm not much of a party person."

"Aww, that's sad to hear," she pouted running a hand up his hoodie clad bicep. "You're not going to make me beg are you?"

"I- no. But why are you inviting me?"

"Well it's not invite only but I noticed that you've never been to one."

"Well I've never had a reason to."

"Well you do now," she smiled. "I'd be really upset if you didn't come tomorrow night," she whispered huskily making him wonder what she really meant.

"Okay I'll be there."

"Good and be sure to bring your friend."

"My friend?"

"The hot blonde girl," Malia smirked before placing a kiss on his cheek and walking off.

Stiles watched her walk away then saw how Theo draped an arm around her shoulders and walked off.

* * *

 "So tell me what she said again?" Erica asked as she lied on Stiles' bed.

"That she really wanted me to come and to bring my hot blonde friend," Stiles sighed.

"So that's my identifier?" Erica smirked.

"Like you don't know it," Stiles scoffed rolling his eyes.

"It's always better to hear it from a hot girl," Erica shrugged.

"I'll never understand girls," Stiles scoffed.

"So what are you wearing?"

"What'd you mean?"

"Well it's so obvious that Theo put her up to it. So he's so clearly gonna fuck you. Holy shit, maybe they both are."

"Erica-"

"Can I watch?"

"No you cannot- there's nothing to watch!"

Erica gave Stiles a sympathetic smile before placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You're so naive."

"I am not! Theo's straight."

"Straight guys don't leave letters describing in detail how they're gonna spilt you apart on their massive co-"

"Shut up. What are  _you_ wearing?" Stiles asked trying to distract Erica from himself.

"Oh that's easy," she grinned droning on about whether or not she should wear shorts or a skirt.

* * *

It still didn't seem to distract Erica for long because she sat on Stiles'chest and held him in a headlock until he wore what she'd laid out for him.

So that's why he stood in front of Theo's house looking like some cooler hipster version of himself while Erica went simple, denim cut offs and, a tee and a leather jacket over her bikini. Malia opened the door, clad only in a red bikini and denim cut offs with the US flag printed on them.

"Hey guys come on in," she smiled ushering them into the kitchen and offering to make them drinks.

She seemed particularly interested in Erica because she helped her put away her jacket and urged her to shed her T-shirt.

"How about you Stiles? Strip down with us," she teased.

"I didn't bring a pair of trunks." Stiles replied hoping the excuse would sway her.

"Theo's got some you can borrow," she said grabbing his hand.

"I doubt they'd fit."

"Hmm," she hummed sizing him up. "You're right. But people leave stuff here all the time we'll find something," she said dragging him behind her to Theo's bedroom which was surprisingly normal.

There were a few band posters up, a stack of CD's, autographed and framed sports jerseys and a picture of Malia on the nightstand. Stiles wondered where he kept the really freaky stuff then he noticed Malia was talking to him.

"Huh what?"

"I said-what size is your waist," she chuckled.

"uhm- I'm not exactly sure."

"So we'll test everything then," she grinned. "Strip."

"What?"

"You heard me," she teased. 

"Yea but-"

"Stiles, I'm not going to molest you," she smirked.

"Uh okay," he sighed pulling his shirt over his head and undoing his pants.

Malia was handing him a spare set of trunks but they fell so she knelt down before him and attempted to pick them up but then the door was flung open and Theo walked in.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Stiles looked down and realised how compromising the position looked. Malia was on her knees in front of him and his pants were around his ankles. Erica was right, maybe he would be fucked after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be sure to just let me have it in the comments. I can take it. And uhm hearing all your thoughts would make me really happy.


	4. Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Seems like a fun game," Erica grinned.
> 
> "More fun with multiple players," Theo smirked from his position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Hopefully you haven't totally lost interest and happy new year! Hope you like it! Lemme know what you think!

"Calm down," Malia chuckled. "I'm just trying to find him a pair of trunks that actually fit."

"Oh, try these," Theo shrugged tossing her a pair of burgundy trunks.

"Here," Malia said standing up and handing them to Stiles. "Well, put them on."

"Okay," Stiles sighed pulling them up.

"Perfect fit," Theo spoke huskily as he stood close to Stiles to help Malia up.

"Yea, and the colour is great too," Malia smirked draping herself over Theo. "Come on, let's head to the hot tub."

"Yea just let me go get Erica first," Stiles spoke

"No need," Theo smirked. "I already asked her to meet us there."

To say Stiles was weirded out by their behaviour would be the understatement of the century. He truly had no idea what was going on.

"Okay then, let's go."

* * *

If Erica found the ordeal weird, she didn't say. She was calm and collected as she sat next to Stiles in the hot bubbly water. Theo and Malia sat across from them and they were just as close as usual.

"So Stiles, have you viewed any interesting artwork lately?" Malia asked with a teasing grin before letting out a small cry of pain and smacking Theo's chest.

"Sorry babe," he smirked. "I thought that was your boob."

"Don't think I'm letting you near them if you plan on pinching me that hard," she replied with a sharp glare.

Theo chuckled and gave Malia a kiss on the temple before pulling her closer and draping his arm over her possessively.

"To answer your question Malia, no." Stiles shrugged.

"Pity," Malia scoffed reaching over for a bottle of champagne and turning it to her head.

"You should have it with the strawberries," Erica chuckled.

"Bad idea," Theo chuckled in response. "Strawberries tend to make her get a little naughty- well naughtier."

"You say that as if it's a bad thing," Malia smirked, seductively biting into a strawberry and letting out a small moan.

To say Erica was turned on would be an understatement and Malia could tell.

"So- Stiles, want some?" Malia asked offering him the bottle but making shifty bedroom eyes towards Erica.

"No thanks, I can't have alcohol."

"Why- you on meds?" Theo teased taking a swig from the bottle.

"I am actually," Stiles shrugged.

"Oh, sorry," Theo apologised.

"Don't apologise. It's my own fault."

"What happened?" Malia asked curiously as she drank from the bottle.

"I slammed my car hood down on my arm."

"You're so clumsy," Theo chuckled fondly, taking another swig and handing the bottle to Erica.

"You have no idea," Erica chuckled after taking a swig from the bottle. "He dislocated his shoulder when we went rock climbing a few months back."

"That eplains the cast," Theo grinned.

"Gee, you remember that cast but you forgot my birthday," Malia scoffed taking a swig from the bottle.

"I apologised like thirty times baby," Theo sighed.

"Right, that makes it okay," Malia scoffed bitterly.

"Do you have something to say?" Theo glared.

"Nothing at all," she replied rolling her eyes.

"Good," Theo said grippping her chin and pulling her to kiss him.

Malia kissed back hungrily and Theo pulled her into his lap before breaking away and smirking.

"We have guests babe," Theo spoke still gripping her hips.

"Right, where are my manners," Malia smirked turning her attention to Erica and standing between her legs in one fluid motion. "It's so rude of me not to invite you two to play," she sighed seductively, toying with a lock of Erica's curly hair.

"Seems like a fun game," Erica grinned.

"It's more fun with multiple players," Theo smirked from his position.

What'd you say Stiles?" Malia asked with a seductive smile. "I mean- Erica's clearly in... You should join."

Stiles' eyes fluttered to Theo who didn't seem at all weirded out by the fact that his girlfriend was kissing another girl. There was no shock or wonder in his eyes. This had to have been a regular thing, no man could sit there completely composed- with only a tiny smirk on his lips- as two girls kissed deeply in front of him.

"I- I uh- I have work to get home and do," Stiles answered hurriedly.

"Pity," Theo shrugged. "But no worries, we'll take good care of Erica here. Won't we babe?"

"Definitely," Malia grinned.

"Right, so uhm, I'm gonna go now," Stiles said scrambling out of the hot tub.


End file.
